The GPS navigation device, The Three Stooges, Ketchup and other assorted questions of the war between the sexes
In a few previous threads of comments, readers have explored the profound questions of why men don't ask directions, why they find the Three Stooges funny, and now we explore the fundamental question of whether or not ketchup is a vegetable. Michael Morrison, who writes the wonderful blog Take Back Your Rights!, is quick to point out that technically tomatoes are a fruit. Still, fruit or vegetable, ketchup comes in a form that is palatable and acceptable to the average man who, perhaps, finds eating fruits and vegetables in their unadulterated form to be rather -- well -- unmanly, if not uninteresting.
Now, on the subject of men's seeming reluctance to ask directions, we received many fascinating responses, and mentioned among them was the theory that asking another man for directions placed the male in the inferior position, thus yielding to the gas station attandant permission to pillage and burn his village and abduct his women. Now, we know that no self-respecting man is going to leave himself open to pillaging or burning, therefore it is incumbent upon him to find his own way to his ultimate destination, thus discovering (as Columbus did), New Worlds along the way, and many interesting "short cuts" and scary neighborhoods which might otherwise go unexplored.
It occurred to me that the introduction of the GPS navigational system for cars might present an insoluble conundrum for men -- to wit:
When it comes to a male's reluctance to ask directions, does it count if a machine gives the instructions? Since a machine cannot pillage and burn your villages and kidnap your women, and technically qualifies as a "toy", is it therefore allowable in the male universe?
Here's an excerpt of one pithy response from the inimitable TJ Willms of Twisted Steel:
Now that I have a free moment to ponder the GPS conundrum, it is quite simple really. GPS is the electronic replacement for the detailed mental maps we men store in our highly reliable memories. Many are further augmented with an on board compass. The newer user-friendly versions give additional navigation cues in a helpful (usually female) voice that guides you to your destination.
The perfection of GSP navigation is one of the final pieces of a diabolical plan by the feminists of the world to rid the planet of testosterone for good!
Personally, I don't think we will ever be able to dispense with the male sex (NOT gender, PLEASE!)
If men weren't around who would kill those huge black arachnids that terrorize us in our showers? There are simply some jobs that only a man can do.