Let Theresa be Theresa
What do we do with a phenomenon like Theresa? Personally, I say -- leave her to Heaven -- as Claudius's ghost said to Hamlet about Gertrude.
The old adage -- when your opponent is committing suicide, just stand out of the way -- is never more apt than now. The Kerry Kamp is not content, evidently, with the steady erosion of support amongst women voters, (according to Newsweek's latest poll, Bush now leads among women 49% to Kerry's 43%) they send out Theresa to finish the job already started by her husband. All well and good, I say. The more honesty over on the dem side the better. Let's hear more about Mary Cheney, the Cheney's lesbian daughter. I think the country has not had enough yet. Let's have more of Edwards shouting "Heal! Heal! Heal!!" as he announces that the lame will walk, the sick shall be healed and for all we know, the dead will rise from their graves on Halloween -- giving everybody a REALLY rollicking holiday if only he and Kerry are elected. And while we're at it, how dare Dick Cheney, a man with a history of heart disease and with an implanted pacemaker who obviously falls into one of the high risk categories which makes it imperative for him to get a vaccine, be so incredibly evil and heartless as to get a shot for himself. And then we hear from Drudge that Clinton and Hillary and all the Senators and senate staff got one -- oh yeah -- never mind -- Haliburton! Haliburton! Haliburton!
But, let's get back to Theresa, the gift that keeps on giving.
At least there is progress on this front as an apology was quickly forthcoming when the remarks backfired, although the apology leaves much to be desired as well.
But let's examine what she said. She was quoted as saying First Lady Laura Bush has never held "a real job, I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up" even though of course any person who has been paying the least bit of attention knows that Laura Bush, in addition to being First Lady for 4 years and a mother of twin girls, was also a full time teacher and librarian for years before she married George Bush.
But why let a little thing like a nasty fact get in the way of your own opinion. In a sense, I think that the dems are so carried away with their own insulated concepts of hatred and contempt for the Bushes and Republicans in general, that they slip constantly and assume that the whole world thinks as they do. In a sense this is little different from Hillary Clinton saying that she "could have stayed home and baked cookies, but she chose to have a career instead" -- a line which by implication condemned all women who stay home and bake cookies as worthless idiots and a line for which she was not criticized except by the VRWC.
The USA Today interview on the 19th of October contains a number of interesting questions and answers but this was the one that really got people's attention.
But before we go on to that, here's another doozy that just goes to show you what a brilliant intellect and mind Theresa has:
Q: You'd be just the second first lady who was born abroad, the first
who had two foreign parents. Do you think that causes Americans any pause?
A: "Well, Americans who pause probably don't know history very well, because we are all from somewhere. We are continually being from somewhere. And in such a young country as this - it's not like we're talking, you know, old Europe. We are constantly renewing our energy and our knowledge and our heart and our soul, enriched like no other country in that sense. And to fear that or disparage that I don't think is American. And I never hear that out there."
Here Theresa demonstrates her ability to say absolutely nothing that makes sense, and yet, to hit every high note of the democratic talking points (and hers). Permit me, as a fluent speaker of 3 languages, to interpret the enigmatic and elusive Theresa Heinz Kerry, speaker of 5 languages. The lack of two additional languages puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage, but I think I can just manage to bridge the gap that separates us.
Point #1: "Americans who pause" -- hmm -- I suppose she is referring to the quaint American usage of "to give pause", meaning to cause one to reconsider, but leaving that aside, the real "meat" of the quote here is that Americans do not know their own history. No, and we are waiting to be instructed by the multi-lingual Mother Theresa. Put down number one. Point taken. We are all boobs in flyover country, especially those of use who "pause". And furthermore, we are all in a continuing state of "being from somewhere". This, I think is a subtle reminder that "being" is an ongoing state of existence and one that can only be contemplated by people who have accidentally stumbled across Jean-Paul Sartre somewhere at a cocktail party in Paris. So -- she is a student of philosophy as well.
Point #2: "And in such a young country as this - it's not like we're talking, you know, old Europe." Put down number 2 -- and she's only 2 sentences along -- great job, Theresa. Translation for those of you who "pause" and only speak American -- America is a dumb country and not as culturally superior as "Old Europe" whence of course, she and John Kerry originate (she by way of Portuguese colonialists who settled and exploited the land, natives and natural resources of Africa -- but let's not bring up inconvenient facts).
Point #3: "We are constantly renewing our energy and our knowledge and our heart and our soul, enriched like no other country in that sense. And to fear that or disparage that I don't think is American." Tada!! A twofer!! A put down and a compliment all rolled into one. America is strong for being constantly renewed by immigrants BUT, it's unAmerican to fear or disparage immigrants (read herself and all the illegal aliens that she hopes vote for her husband in droves on election day.)
And then we can look at the Laura Bush question and answer:
Q: You'd be different from Laura Bush?
A: "Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm,
and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things. And I'm older, and my validation of what I do and what I believe and my experience is a little bit bigger - because I'm older, and I've had different experiences. And it's not a criticism of her. It's just, you know, what life is about."
Translation -- er -- "deconstruction" is the term currently in favor, I believe: "But she seems to be calm,
and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good." A subtle point which can be read two ways, she's dumb, and/or, not a raving looney bat like me, AND she has a sparkle, which is all I can think of to say about her, and darn, why don't my eyes sparkle like that rather than burn with a flame of a thousand tormented nights with the terminally boring John F. Kerry???
"But I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up." It is passing strange to refer to a grown woman with grown daughters who is the First Lady of the United States as someone who's been "grown up". I suppose Laura Bush might have worked as a child, given as how she didn't grow up in a white colonialist's home like Theresa with black servants fetching and carrying, cooking and cleaning and otherwise "working". Theresa never had to sully her little fingers with "work". And I'm simply tired of the analyzing the rest of it. It is obvious to all that these were shallow and silly remarks by a shallow, snobbish and out of touch woman who never misses an opportunity to damn with faint praise while at the same time praising herself and her non-existent "accomplishments" to the high heavens.
Suffice it to say. She's done us all a favor -- let her speak some more. I can hardly wait. As Claudius said in "I, Claudius" -- let all the poisons come out.
USAToday -- The Real Running Mates
Find this article at: