Ultima Thule

In ancient times the northernmost region of the habitable world - hence, any distant, unknown or mysterious land.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Conspiracies R us and other fantasies

By Aussiegirl

OK -- I'm giving in. Yes -- I'm throwing in my lot with the conspiracy theorists among us -- the Kanye Wests -- the Cynthia McKinneys -- the Governor Blank-Os -- the Naggin' Nagins of this world. I'm joining Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Nancy Pelosi, John Dean and the rest of the great leaders among us. The scales have dropped from my eyes. There IS a giant conspiracy underway -- and here it is -- I've finally seen the light.

Yes, friends -- I'm beginning to realize that if we really let loose our paranoid fantasies like the aforementioned luminaries and lights of our nation do on a daily and hourly basis, we would be completely justified in imagining the following scenario:

Naggin' Nagin and Governorness Blank-O make a complete hash of their evacuation and disaster plans, which, coupled with their paranoid fears of handing over authority to Bush because of their own conspiracy theories, results in mass chaos, exposure and death for countless citizens and many poor and helpless people -- of all colors.

Then these two elected officials see their opportunity. By provoking the very visible crisis of people dying in the sun in large numbers at the Superdome, Convention Center and on highway overpasses, they do deliberately and with malice aforethought forbid and prevent the Red Cross or National Guard from dropping relief supplies or for Federal troops from evacuating the desperate crowds -- knowing full well that Bush will get the blame through the hysterical media. Barely 24 hours after the whole debacle unfolds Naggin' Nagin goes on radio and has a public meltdown, complete with hysterical ravings and foul language -- jivin' and shuckin' with the best of the big time hustlers.

Meanwhile, Governoress Blank-O refuses to cede power, despite pleas from President Bush and federal authorities, thereby deepening the crisis and further delaying aid in order to further envelope the administration in more bad publicity.

This is done with the intention of provoking the Bush administration into invoking the Insurrection Act. I think they hoped that Bush would be forced to seize control from them and thereby they hoped they could set the stage for possible grounds for impeachment of the president and provide confirmation of their own conspiracy theories.

They are entitled to their fantasies -- and we are entitled to ours -- only ours make a lot more sense than theirs. The democrats have been looking for some excuse to impeach Bush since before the election. They hoped to use Abu Graib but that failed -- then they hoped to use the missing WMD -- but that didn't succeed. Here they hoped to prove that the president was not only inept and derelict, but power-mad as well.

Conspiracies R us is in the air. What do you think? Makes sense to me. Makes as much, if not more sense than Kanye West saying that George Bush hates black people (since it was the only intelligible phrase, much less sentence that this poet of his generation offered, that's the one I am forced to use).

It makes as much sense as Cynthia McKinney crying that as she watched the victims being rescued and loaded into buses she was reminded of SLAVERY -- and how families had been torn apart. She was reminded of SLAVERY as these victims were herded into CONCENTRATION CAMPS. Yes, it
makes as much sense as the elected Mayor of New Orleans screaming on the radio after he failed utterly and miserably to implement a timely and effective evacuation plan -- when it was his dereliction which sentenced the poorest residents of New Orleans, many of them black, to days of exposed torment in the sun, miserable and dangeous unsanitary conditions, with no food and water. It makes as much sense as the
Governoress of that fine state dithering and stuttering as people died. It shows that these people care NOTHING for those poor, black folks who were dying in the sun without food and water. So who's the racist here?

What a country! Is anyone else concerned that this country is being ripped apart with this malign and insane partisanship of the democrats? What have they to offer but blame and hatred?

Nancy Pelosi drips with scorn and sarcasm at her nemesis George Bush -- who heaven knows is not perfect -- but he has been doing his best to accomplish a Herculean task. Has she offered even one suggestion that
might help? Has she comforted even ONE victim/refugee/evacuee/slave (choose the word of your choice?) Has she offered to clothe or house even ONE family?

But -- I have offered my conspiracy theory. It's as good as theirs -- and makes a lot more sense -- because everything I've related here is true.


At 9:08 PM, Anonymous blackminorca said...

The shortcomings are due to SNAFU

All the suspect parties are LAWYERS. Disaster relief requires someone with command experience - pearl handled sidearms and stuff.

At 10:39 PM, Blogger Michael Morrison said...

Of course it's a conspiracy.
Just consider this evidence, which is, of course, proof.
What is the name of the mayor of New Orleans -- and suddenly I wonder: If New Orleans is no more, does he have to find an honest job now?
Anyway, the possibly ex mayor is named Nagin.
Everybody knows that.
Now, a lesser-known fact: The evil snake in the Harry Potter series is: Nagini!
Now an even lesser-known fact: The cobras in “Rikki-Tikki-Tavi” are named: Nag and Nagaina!
There. Proof positive.
As usual, Aussiegirl is correct, and is proven so by classical education.

At 11:55 PM, Blogger Aussiegirl said...

Haha - thanks Michael -- but since when did Harry Potter become classical? I think there are parts of this conspiracy deal we haven't even started to explore -- as BlackMinorCapulets notes -- they are all lawyers -- and we all know that the law is a ass ~~Charlies Dickens -- more proof from classical literature -- hmm -- could get interesting.

At 11:11 AM, Blogger TJ Willms said...

Pearl handled sidearms. . . How apropriate for New Orleans. You seem to have forgotten Theodore “Gluteus Maximus” Kennedy who has been vigorously fanning the flames. He is a reknowned authority on the difficulties in river crossings and watery disaters.
I think he really wishes he could challenge Dean for the post of “Lord of the Idiots!” Wait a just a minute. . . He also had a classical education. Ha! More Proof!

At 1:00 PM, Blogger BonnieBlueFlag said...

Oh my gosh . . . now where is my tin foil hat? My magic cape is at the dry cleaners, and my trusty witch's wand needs batteries. You all have caught me completely unaware!

Oh, oh wait . . . I found my Crystal Ball, just give me a moment while I dial up the "Conspiracy Channel."

There it is now. Yes, I can see it all now . . .

It has been in the making since the Florida chad counting debacle of the 2000 presidential election. Karl Rove has been plotting a special payback for Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and many others, including Mary Frances Berry, the illegal chairman of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights at the time.

It has taken years and numerous magic spells, but the Bush 43 people conjured up a category 4 1/2 hurricane named Katrina, to disperse a large pocket of the Jackson and Sharpton base to the four winds.

Just today, two weeks later, Jesse Jackson finally got his convoy of aid together, and he is headed to Mississippi, in a last ditch effort to hang on to the remaining black vote there.

More and more black people are discovering that the white people that they were told hated them, and wanted to keep them down and poor, are standing there ready to help them with food, water and shelter.

Now that is what I call a conspiracy!


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