The spinning scarlett spiral in the windmills of my mind
I'm scrolling through the news channels at the top of the hour and here is what I see -- a hurricane, Dan Rather complaining about a hurricane, a photo of a missing girl, and water dribbling into someone's yard from -- a hurricane -- and palm trees swaying in -- a hurricane -- a reporter
in a soaked slicker, reporting from -- a hurricane.
Meanwhile -- Islamist terrorists are plotting a nuclear holocaust in our cities -- North Korea refuses to come to an agreement to abandon its nukes -- Iran thumbs its nose at the UN and the world -- the avian flu may become the biggest pandemic since the 1918 disaster that killed millions -- China is arming -- Russia is making dangerous alliances -- Chavez in Venezuela is fomenting communist revolutions all over Latin America along with his pal Castro -- terrorists and illegals stream across our unguarded borders.
Hearings are about to be held on Able Danger -- but we don't know if we will be privy to them because someone very high up has removed the security clearance of the top witness in order to discredit him -- someone who has to be very high up in the Pentagon -- Sandy Berger has gotten a slap on the wrist for stealing and destroying top secret government documents which might incriminate top officials in malfeasance before 9/11 -- Clinton is publicly tearing the Bush administration to shreds while the Bushes pander and fawn before him and Hillary --
While the networks feed us pap and missing persons and hurricanes. Is this madness? Or are we being lulled to sleep by government and the media while the world spins out of control? Hush, little children -- take your SOMA -- and do not worry. The government will take care of you. A hurricane? -- don't worry -- there are unlimited funds in the government printing presses to buy everyone their own home on their own land. Need money? -- here's a debit card -- buy what you like with it. Vuitton bags? -- why go right ahead -- who are we to interfere with the free expression of your self esteem.
Meanwhile -- have you seen the latest picture of the hurricane? It's a beautiful if scary sight -- look -- it's red and pretty and it goes around and around in a spiral -- like a galaxy -- look, children -- don't take your eyes from the spinning scarlett spiral -- you are getting sleepy -- you are getting very sleepy -- you feel so drowsy and unconcerned that nothing in the world will ever trouble you again -- you are happy -- happy that your politicians have no allegiance to country or party or to people -- only to each other -- you are happy that there are powerful people in
government who take care of everything for you and pay for everything so you needn't worry.
See the water drain from New Orleans -- isn't it beautiful? All that water draining, draining, draining -- like the coffers of the government -- but the government has unlimited money -- and its money can do miraculous things -- it can buy popularity -- it can build bridges to nowhere at fantastic costs -- and it's all free -- see? -- it doesn't cost you a dime -- just look at the pretty picture of
the hurricane -- see how prettily it spins -- round and round the scarlett spiral goes -- over and over again.
And isn't it sad -- here's another pretty white girl who is tragically missing. Feel her loss -- feel her mother's pain -- don't think about the terrorists -- don't think about the war in Iraq -- just sleep, children, sleep -- and watch the commercials that urge you to buy -- and buy -- and buy -- to
make you happy. And here's Michael Jackson in Bahrain -- you'd forgotten about him, hadn't you? But there he is -- isn't that fascinating?
And when the hurricane is over we will show you beautiful tropical Aruba again? -- won't that be exciting? -- You can play at being Agatha Christie with Greta -- Isn't that more exciting than thinking about nasty old terrorists or politics? And when the hurricane is over there will always be car chases filmed from thrilling heights in moving helicopters -- see the cars roll endlessly through the maze of streets and canyons in LA -- sleep, children -- there's always something out here to amuse you -- so never fear.
Aren't you glad you have journalists to make sure that you are informed about the world? We are professionals -- you can leave the thinking to us -- we are highly trained -- for this we have trained our entire lives and attended J schools in the finest halls of academe, honing and practicing our skills in front of countless cameras -- we learned to apply our makeup in moving sound trucks and in the backs of humvees if necessary -- the world is our green room -- we live to bring the world to your living room -- we live to help you understand. We are Fair and Balanced -- we are Fox -- YOUR network - remember? We are the Republican party -- professional politicians -- you can leave the governing to us -- we are the party of BIG GOVERNMENT -- remember? Surely you remember -- just keep your eyes on the spinning scarlett spiral -- see how prettily it spins -- will it hit New Orleans again? Oh, what important things there are to worry about!